"That's right, not even McGyver could fix it."
"So -- what are you wearing?"
"Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n."
"Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."
"We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."
"In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
"Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
"Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."
"Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."
Funniest part is the number of variations on some of these I've heard myself say...