God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll (archmage) wrote,
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll

  • Music:

Rising Phoenix

Hey, friends. Sorry 'bout that. Couple things to say.

First: Much thanks to you guys, and you should all know who you are. Those of you who cared enough to send me some good vibes, supportive thoughts, or just, by saying you were there and noticed, helped me stay together, reminding me who my friends are. Thanks for the good words, and for your friendship. It means the world to me. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I have some of the best friends a man could have...they're just spread far and wide.

That thanks also goes out to those of you gutsy enough to get in my face and tell me the news. I needed to face something, and I wasn't, and that wasn't good. Thanks especially to Deech, who stuck with it until I saw what I wasn't seeing. You rock.

Secondly: I'm not actually interested in talking about what happened. I was hurt, badly, and it was primarily my own fault. I'm not ashamed to tell you tears were shed, and I snapped, more than a little. But, as I fell, I've also risen, and I'm on the trail back upwards. I'm not going to say "I'm fine", because I'm not...yet. But I see a path, and I'm travelling on it.

Don't feel sorry for me; in the end, I'm not sorry it happened. It was necessary, considering what was happening in my head, and thus I do not lament it. It's just another obstacle to be overcome, and I'm doing that. That's all I'll say in public, and I just ask that you respect that.

Lastly: I'm going through a bit of a paradigm shift in my head. This is always tough, and tougher still because of where I let myself go, blindly...but it has to be done, because I broke one or two of my own cardinal rules. So, bear with me, because it's a tough fuckin' journey for me to take, and (much as I hate to admit it) I'm only human; I will slip, here and there.

But I'll always get back up again. I won't be beaten by anyone...least of all my own self.

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