God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll (archmage) wrote,
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll
archmage

  • Mood:

I Give Up

So, in order to try and snap myself out of this funk, I went up to Freak Manor to party...get this out of my system, be around people kinda thing. An entire bottle of tequila and a pack of cloves later, I'm finally home...

It's a disheartening feeling to be around that many people and still feel alone. To look around you, to see attractive people, happy, close to each other, affection on both friendly and intimate levels...and have none of your own. THAT, I didn't need. But there was plenty of it.

I won't say it wasn't fun, at times. Freak Party Jenga is a riot, especially by our rules (at various unrelated points, I had someone kissing my ass, I had to lick all players' cleavage, and I was forced to kiss caliban...all I'll say is be careful what rules you agree to...). Steve (no, a female) thanking me for getting her drunk on Tarantula Magaritas. And meeting an interesting young lady by the name of Victoria. Chantal playing with my hair. Yeah, there were a few moments where I almost forgot everything that had happened. But they were brief, and far between.

Have you ever met someone that you were attracted to, on the spot? Not just physically, but mentally as well? Now, did it happen because they reminded you of someone else? And did it just make you miss that person more? And did you know that you wouldn't do anything, BECAUSE what you really wanted was that person you were missing? Well, if you haven't, it sucks. A lot.

Anyway, I just got to the point where I was feeling alone and unattractive, and I was glad we left. I did get my voice on the radio, though, going home, requesting a song.

My request? "Alone", by Heart.
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