God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll (archmage) wrote,
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll
archmage

BloodRayne Reviewed

We all know I rant about movies. There are plenty of ones that are popular, where my opinion differs wildly from the apparent mainstream of humanity. Sometimes, though, it sure is nice to see people agreeing with me.

Take, for example, BloodRayne. Based on the video game of the same name, I said, right from the beginning, that it would be a piece of crap. No, no, said my opponents, it's got a sexy chick in tight outfits with blades who slashes and sucks blood! Hot bodies! Gore and action! It'll kick ass! I think this shows how low standards have dropped, but then, this is the country who believes reality shows are real.

I, on the other hand, thought it would be pond scum. I looked at the fact that Uwe Boll was directing, and I cringed at how badly he'd make some great actors act (Kingsley>? Madsen? Zane? They should know better.). I imagined how a video game as monotonous as BloodRayne would be translated to the big screen (the game wasn't bad, but it was just more of the same, level after level). And I drew my conclusion as to it's Suck Total, which was quite high.

Well, let's see. It's hardly been out in theatres long at all, and it's already being ranked in IMDb.com's bottom 100 movies (it's #40). As for some particulars, well, take a gander at this review by Howard Tayler, author and artist of Schlock Mercenary, one of the best and most successful webcomics out there.

You are allowed to have standards, you know. It's actually good for you and the planet.
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