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27 April 2006 @ 07:04 am
The Deadbolt song "One Day I Will Kill You" is in my head. Why? because the anus-face neighbour of mine woke me up at 5:30 in the fucking morning...AGAIN...revving his car. I mean, I woke out of a dead sleep and thought something was happening to the building, and it turns out it was just his fucking car.

I hate this guy, really I do. He's an anti-social alpha type, low forehead, grunts at you if you try to greet him lives here with his girlfriend and their kid, and is constantly yelling at both of them. Drives this Mustang, white with the black racing stripes down the top, and boy, does he love it. Revs the engine when he starts it up to leave. Revs the engine when he comes home and parks. Likes to get it running and revved up and check the engine...though I can't tell that he knows anything about engines. Has a tachometer installed on the dashboard, which makes it look more like a performance engine, which is funny, because the damn thing is an automatic! Yes, not a stick, a fucking automatic. Also, the front bumper looks to have a bungee cord holding it on.

Why do I know so much? Because he parks it right outside my front window, which also means it's right below my bedroom window. He screws around with the stereo in his girlfriend's car, too...and usually does this right outside my place. One of these assholes that has to turn things up so loud he's rattling his own panels, just to change out the speakers.

So, yes, 5:30 this morning, I'm jarred out of sleep by this fucktard, yet again. I swear, the day is coming when petty vengeance shall be mine.
Coinneach Fitzpatrickscarybaldguy on April 27th, 2006 02:31 pm (UTC)
Maybe paint "Rapist" on his car in brake fluid?
Matted_dirt on April 27th, 2006 02:34 pm (UTC)
Hey, I know this guy. He lived next door to me in Tucson AZ. Big tall dude that likes to wear baggy knee-length shorts. has a fucking ANNOYING voice.

don't worry, he'll go to jail for beating his wife. Just like he did when he lived next to me.

Guys like him never change.
devil_engine on April 27th, 2006 02:57 pm (UTC)
Remember my problems with noisy neighbors?? I'm tellin ya dude, there's nothing that a bullhorn won't fix.
Lost TsomewhereIMEtsomewhereime on April 27th, 2006 03:34 pm (UTC)
2 medium sized hand towels one for each side of the exhaust and a broom. Problem solved

Oh make sure you wear your Ninja gear. LOL
paradoxparadox13 on April 27th, 2006 09:13 pm (UTC)
Seen on a t-shirt:

"Hey! You're not a ninja! You're just a guy in a ninja suit!"

My Life As A Military Wife & Mother: Georgiababyinga on April 28th, 2006 04:23 am (UTC)
Hmmmmmmmmmmm he sure gets around. We have had that same guy at every base we have lived at! And who the hell buys a sporty-ish car that is an automatic? Mike was going to buy me a Camero when we were in NC. I looked in the window and told him nevermind. He was floored until I told him I did not want it because it was not a manual! I bet anything the Mustang is a damn 4 cylinder too!
deathcythe_25: Squirrelly Wrath!deathcythe_25 on April 28th, 2006 06:12 am (UTC)
I have had my share of VENGENCE
Not that I have ever had my vengence against someone... but...

Get a syringe, fill it with deer piss (usually bought at the local hunting store) put it in the syringe, and inject it into the window seals of the car.
On a hot day he will hate driving, even with the windows down.

Find some roadkill and a wire hanger. Place the roadkill above the muffler, and wire the animal to the muffler. After a bit of driving, something will offend him greatly, and he will not know what.

Get some gloves and sugar. Place the gloves on your hand, and then open the gas tank. Pour 1 cup of sugar into the gas tank...

Same as the above, only with a tampon or 2.

If I was there with one of my friends, I would do our most infamous prank on him. Mind you that I would actually break into the car, and move it without starting it. Then we would re-route the horn to the brake, also keeping the horn working through the steering wheel. Then when the cock rolls away wondering what the fuck? He will most likely get a ticket from local authorities for harrassing the local public. This might result in him going to a shop for a while.
Mauler_mauler_ on April 28th, 2006 07:04 am (UTC)
Revving cold newly-started engines is The Suck. For the neighbours and the engine.

Take solace in the fact that he indeed knows nothing about cars and his tinkering has probably resulted in a slow death for his favourate chariot.


People like that sow their own bad seeds, just watch. With earplugs.

(Failing that a condom on each exhaust would be too funny)
Pornographic Priestess: pumpkinmia42 on April 28th, 2006 08:34 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I used to have that problem with a nieghbor who's drive way was right by my bedroom window. I threw pumpkins at him. Might've worked had it not been imaginary pumpkins.
No really, It was the first week of November and I had these giant pumpkins downstairs.
thndrchldthndrchld on April 29th, 2006 07:39 pm (UTC)
It seems some people
have put a lot of thought into vengence. Not to out done... It's a noise issue, you fight it with noise. Now I am sure you have the ability to create disgusting, obnoxious, gag inducing sounds at a proper volume. When he is screaming and yelling....a few LOUD gagging sounds. When he is outside with his mock-stang, actual sounds of blood curdling screams, moans, and expulsion of stomach contents. The best of all is when he starts his car at 5:30am...the sounds of women and babies being tortured.

It scares the crap out of them, they fear they will be associated with people look out their windows...and best of all, you will find the noise he makes doesn't bother you as much!

(also the sound of a powerful backfire, in time with the revving)