God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll (archmage) wrote,
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll


Just a quick note before I go to bed.

Much thanks go out to all of ya, sending your best wishes and good vibes and sympathies and whatnots. Sure, it may not be able to help the situation, but I appreciate it all the same. Not sure what I'm going to do and how I'm going to handle things, but I'll figure something out, I always do.

For now, I gotta treat it like a job: I'm paid to do this, so I'm going to do it, simple, business-like, to the point. I'm not paid to care, so I won't. This doesn't mean I won't show care in what I do, simply that I will not get into discussions, thoughts, and ideas. I'll do the job and nothing more. I will not discuss plans, I will simply do them. Also, if he's not doing right, I will simply correct it, and in therapy, I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat for him; they will know what he is and is not doing right. If he's going to treat me as little better than some functionary, then that's what I'll be. Do it, get it done, go back to what I was doing. It'll keep my sanity in place until I figure something else out.

I asked Dianna not to say anything to him or her Mom. Partly because I don't want things to get worse with the family, partly because I know it won't make a difference anyway. I do plan on saying something to Rose tomorrow; while Ray's in therapy, I can step out to make a call. It dawned on me, though, that I do not want an apology from him, because it won't mean a thing. He wouldn't say it because he meant it, and, frankly, even if he did I doubt I'd believe him.

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