Am I the only one annoyed? Seriously, is anyone else out there tired of the sequels and remakes? I have four flicks sitting in my mind, today:
- The Power of the Dark Crystal - a sequel, 26 years after the original? Hell, even Phantasm II didn't take that long to come out (and there's still a chance the final one could beat this record). Another example of a beloved film of an era getting the treatment. I have a hard time believing that this one will have the same spirit as the original. True, may LOOK better, but I'm tired of remakes being made simply to make them look better. Here's a wild idea, maybe you've heard of it: a film is more than it's visuals, there's this thing called a STORY. In today's market, I fear this will come out, to much fanfare, and be either forgotten in a month, or be merchandised out the wing-wong, like Nightmare Before Christmas was/is.
- Aliens vs. Predator 2 - Because, you know, the first one wasn't quite bad ENOUGH. The art-heavy fourth Alien film was a stretch, and that first AvP flick was laughable, with the continual disregard for both backstories of the main creatures...and of pure physics, biology, and any other science they could break off and stuff into the frame. And now, "warring alien and predator races descend on a small town, where unsuspecting residents must band together for any chance of survival"?!? Ah yes, Earth, the center of the universe. One race is a tribal/militaristic race of hunters, the other a race of insectoids that has more than once taken over planets, ripped apart all other species and generally brought a serious ruckus...but having them fight in a small town, yeah, sure.
- Hannibal Rising - You know, Lovecraft had this figured out a long time ago, as did others: if you want someone or something to be really scary, make them mysterious. When you explain the madness, it ceases to be mad. Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter was a boogeyman; here was a guy who not only ate people, but was completely calm about it. Manipulated, attacked, consumed, went all the way, and never batted an eye. The man cut out a piece of a guy's brain, quick-fried it in front of him, then FED IT TO HIM, without even a hint of a pulse increase or a drop in his gentility. He was so sociopathic that the sheer idea of him existing was close to a blasphemy of life. Oh, wait, he was a kid that survived the horrors of the war, never mind. *yawn*
- Halloween - Now, see, I expected more from Rob Zombie, but I suppose it's true, your heroes will always end up disappointing you. Michael Myers was another perfect example of the Scary Thing: cold, emotionless, evil, and unstoppable. Completely outside the ability of the human mind to relate to and deal with. Even his doctor, a man trained in the exploration and handling of the darkest recesses of the mind and in understanding them, called him "pure evil." Zombie comes along, the LAST person I'd think would stoop to "reimagining" a classic horror film, and fucks this up, showing us the kid's therapy, explaining him, and even making him speak (which we all know he never did, not in 7 fucking movies did he utter a WORD). Oh, Rob, how could you?