Lo and behold, they found a problem. Go tell it on the fucking mountain, Mother pin a rose on me, praise the lord and pass the ammunition.
Apparently, the amplifier in the box outside was going bad. They tested a thousand pings on the upstream side, no loss...a thousand on the downstream side, fifteen-fucking-percent loss. And where am I connected? Downstream side of the thing. Take that, fuckers. So, they switch me to the upstream side, tell maintenance to come out to deal with that amplifier, etc., and check me again. Would you believe it, oh my brothers? Clean and smooth, so far. Of course, the real test is for me to play CoH in the afternoon, see if I have lag outs, etc. Not that I'll complain about that. ;)
And would you believe, my speed is better than it ever was? Oh yes. Right, they earned this last chance. If it stays good, I stay a customer. If it fails? They get one last call from me, saying "screw you all."