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05 July 2001 @ 06:34 pm
OK, I don't really feel like posting this, but I've gotta get it out of my's just memories that are getting to me today.

I've been missing Adam lately. He was the younger of Cha's 2 boys (he turned 2 while we were together). Ian (3 1/2) was cute, very cute, and unfortunately he's been told that for so long that he knows it intrinsically, and uses it to his advantage. He basically drove me nuts half the time, and he didn't listen well, even when I knew he knew what he was doing (trust me, i have a pretty good idea what to expect from a child that young). But Adam, well, he was young enough that that hadn't happened. And he was the first to start calling me Daddy, of his own volition. And that meant a lot to me. He loved me, more so than he loved Chamblin, I think. I got to be there for his first steps. And I took great pride in raising him, teaching him, playing with him, and caring for him. Ian, well, I had the same pride for, but Adam returned that in a way only a tiny child can. Besides, ian was Chamblin's favorite, and he responded to that, and maybe I rebelled against that, I'm not sure. But Adam was my favorite, I *DO* know that. I even loved being up and o-dark-thirty, holding him, singing him back to sleep, the works. The thought of him being "taken care of" and rasied by Chamblin downright saddens and scares me.

And I miss him terribly.
Current Mood: reflective
Current Music: Moby - Southside
sylvaine2001 on July 5th, 2001 08:38 pm (UTC)
I understand how you feel. I couldn't imagine anyone else raising Alex. I don't know her at all but is she really that bad of a mother?
RavenLaceravenlace on July 5th, 2001 09:28 pm (UTC)
Re: Memories
yes she really is that bad i had been with her until Frank moved out there. sha has always thought of herself first and mostly just neglected them horribly. sometimes just in favor of getting drugs so she could go out and have fun. without even an addiction to blame. and he only moved out there because Child protective services took them away so she couldn't leave washington. and that wasn't the first time they were in her life. i could name things in paticular. but that would be a waste of time a a work in futility to try and name them all. just know frank and i have talked and both agree that for thier sakes we hope they get taken away again.
sylvaine2001 on July 7th, 2001 11:15 pm (UTC)
Re: Memories
Damn. I had no idea. I hope they get taken away too. They would be better off.