~~In the middle of an intense flogging, close your eyes and snore.
~~Using your best Howard Cosell impression, give a
play-by-play account of what is being done to you.
~~When ordered "Look me in the eyes!" do it cross-eyed.
~~During a public verbal humiliation scene, stick your fingers in your ears and say, "Nyah, nyah, I can't hear you!"
~~Decorate your Top's leathers with neon polka dots and stripes.
~~Put a whoopee cushion in your Top's chair.
~~"Just say, 'No.'"
~~Use the toybag for dirty laundry. Forget to switch the contents before the next play party.
~~Stick an Alka-seltzer in your mouth at the start of a scene. Work up a good foam, and call out your safe word.
~~Sing while being cropped.
~~Speak a language your Top doesn't know.
~~Tell your Top you can't count because your hands are tied up and you can't see your fingers.
~~Take messages for your Top by writing them on post-its and sticking them on your rear.
~~Superglue the nipple clamps shut.
~~Attach "clappers" to all the lights in the dungeon just before a paddling