God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll (archmage) wrote,
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll

Fuck You Again, Sprint

So, since I was out walking with nothing better to do, I decided to finally call Sprint to ask about that "$150 off a phone" kerfluffle from a while back. Let's just call this the Comedy of Errors.

First off, they have to access the account, which means checking names and phone numbers, etc. OK, no problem, but now they want the "security PIN code"...are you kidding, I'm not sure I EVER set one up, much less remember it. OK, no problem they say, let's just check the security question. First, they ask for my first school...had to think about that, and got it wrong. Tried other schools, nope, none of them. So, how about my first pet's name? Are you kidding me, I wouldn't have chosen that, anyway, but I think hard, back into the dark mists of time, and rattle off about 15 different pet names from history...none of them, either.

For fuck's sakes...

Let me just note that most places have a question option of "mother's maiden name" which I tend to choose because it's easy to remember, but that's apparently not an option. So, no, she can't access my account. Luckily, I can quiz her about the policy on this discount thing without talking about my account specifically. Yes, in the end, the $150 off a phone for being a long-time customer and the $150 off a phone for Joe Q. Public walking in off the street have a difference of precisely dick. As an existing customer, I'd get some small credit on my bill, but I got her to admit that calling me to tell me all about this AMAZING offer is effectively just a hype call to get me into another 2 year contract, since everyone gets that discount, regardless. OK, I suspected as much. She says, helpfully, that she's sent all that account info to my e-mail, so I'll have it for next time. That was nice of her, and I get off the phone. It dawns on me, as I return home, that my account may have an old e-mail addy on it, and that's not helpful. So, off to Sprint's website to log in to my account and check. Round two of idiocy starts...NOW.

Go to log in, it wants a username and password. Really, there's only a few that I use for general purposes, so I'm a tad surprised when they don't work. Trying every combo I can think of, I get nowhere. OK, check on "forgot password" and go from there. Try several usernames, none of which work, except for one that announces it's sent e-mail about resetting the password to an e-mail I've never heard form. Sorry to that guy, who is gonna wonder why he got an e-mail stating that his password has been reset. Well, let's try "forgot username"...which wants the phone number. OK, easy enough, except that it CANNOT FIND MY PHONE NUMBER. I try with dashes, without dashes, with a "1" in front of it, without (note that at no place does it suggest the format they want the entry to be in). The only time it gets anywhere is the number without the area code...at which point I'm told that the tools for account access are not available right now.

You've gotta be shitting me. Brother, what a way to run a railroad.

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