God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll (archmage) wrote,
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll

Incorrect Swerve

Remember Ghetto Blasters? Big ol' boombox radio/tapedecks that were the size of a VW Rabbit and had to be carried on the shoulder so your spine could support you? The kind of radio you could use as a stool when you got tired...and you definitely got tired.

Oh, those radios got smaller and smaller. More portability is a good thing, you see. The Walkman helped to revolutionize that, and even it got smaller as time passed. CDs made it a little more difficult, being larger than tapes and prone to shocks and skipping, but then, oh glorious day, we figured out solid-state memory and digital formats, and the MP3 player was born. Suddenly, you could carry a week's worth of music in a space less than a pack of gum. OK, sure, it was easy to lose, but still, in the palm of your hand, you had enough music for a cross-country road trip.

New problem: people got so dependent on their iPods that they had no way to broadcast the tunes anymore. C'mon, you wanna share with your friends, right? So we had to go a little bigger to make docking stations with speakers. Not quite as portable, but still small and doable.

Ooh, accessories. And we all know what that leads to...hipsters. And when you let the hipsters get into designing accessories, you end up with a load of failure. Like, for instance, this fucking thing.

Yes, that's right, we've come full circle to the Ghetto Blaster again. Your fits-in-the-palm-of-your-hand iPod can now be plugged into something that won't fit into your car. $220 worth of won't-fit-in-your-smug-little-hybrid. And, let's not forget that it takes 10 D-cell batteries to run, which is less than cheap...but then, if you're gonna spend that kind of bank on this bitch, you can damn well buy the batteries, and pay for the chiropractic sessions your slouched-in-the-corner-at-the-mall spine will need after lugging it around, so you can feel cool. Chump.
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