That being said, one of you thought it would be funny to have several pastors e-mail me and offer to talk about where Jesus is in my life, how I feel, and what it would take to make me dedicate my life to your god. This wasn't the least bit funny, and now I'm listed on more places who are gonna contact me than before. I suspect someone close, because they have my fucking ADDRESS. I repeat: not funny. I do not appreciate this, and it shows me exactly how much respect you have for me and what you think of me.
I was going to ask that you man up and admit who you are, but I thought better of it. You contact those preachers back and you tell them you made a mistake, not to continue in this childish prank, and then drop to your fucking knees and pray to your god for mercy and forgiveness.
Yes, I am fucking livid.