June 3rd, 2001

Typing

(*SHWACK*)

And the axe falls.

I was gonna wait for later in the day, let something set me off...but she woke up and I did it anyway. Just started off asking her if she had been bidding on auctions again. She tried to tell me just one, and I told her that this was no time to lie to me. I basically didn't even let her speak much past that, I took hold of the conversation, let her know everything that I was annoyed by, told her how important that was to me, how I had expressed this many times in the past, and how I apparently was not actually important enough to her to respect. She tried to tell me that I WAS important, but I cut her off. I told her straight up that I was not interested in hearing that she was sorry, that I was important, that she would do better, or any of the things that she had said to me in the past, because they were all bullshit. If she had anything to say that might make a difference, I'd listen.

She didn't.

I told her I wanted her out. She tells me that she cannot leave, she has nowhere to go...as if I do. I told her I wanted her out tonight anyway, we could talk later. I also told her I wanted my ring back, She's off dealing with the boys right now, I hope and assume getting them dressed to leave.

So it's over. Wow. I don't really feel anything yet, but I'm sure it will sink in shortly. I'm mostly, at this point, just wanting her to be out of the house, away from me. The sight of her hurts me. Not in an 'unhappy for what I did' way, but in a 'now that it's over, I don't have to pretend anymore' way.

I think I'll talk more later....
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