June 18th, 2001


Hell Is...

...knowing what you want and knowing you can't have it. Hell is having the words and having the willpower and not having the ability. Hell is being constrained.

Hell is knowing how you feel about someone and not being able to tell them. Hell is knowing they feel the same way back, and are fighting it, not because they don't want to, but because it would make things too hard to deal with, even though the idea is attractive to them. Hell is understanding all this, top to bottom, forwards and backwards. Hell is having it shoved in your face.

Hell is.......love.

I know I'll probably get shit from a person or two about this (and you know who you are...). Do me a favor. Don't.
  • Current Music
    Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart

Fuck All This Nonsense

Fuck The World (Insane Clown Posse)

This is about how I feel today.

Fuck work. I hate my job ever since they started fucking with the few things that worked right. They took my shift, they took my job, and now they are taking my sanity.

Fuck job searching. I've come to the conclusion that I don't have a fraction of the skills I need to get the job that I want, and it's just depressed me right through the floor, because I don't have time to get them, or money. I might as well make this place a career.

Fuck people. I have friends who don't realize how obnoxious they can be, and get annoyed when it is pointed out. I have friends who I have feelings for, and who seem to return them, but there's about a 99% chance that if I say anything about it, I lose them. I have one trying to be friendly, after all she did to me, and seems to think we can still be close. I have people bailing out on my plans, and I have to bail on other's plans because I haven't got the guts to tell them that they are pissing me off.

Fuck free time. I don't have any. When I do, it's occupied, because I offer to do things.

Fuck food. If I eat, I don't lose weight; if I don't I starve.

Fuck drugs. I can't afford them, and that's probably a good thing.

Fuck alcohol. It takes so much to get me fu-schnickened, I can barely afford that, either.


Say It Loudly and Proudly!
  • Current Music
    Falco - Rock Me Amadeus