July 10th, 2001



Various thoughts for the day:

-- 'Leashed' refers to the fact that I actually own a cellphone now, so I'm caught. I've always said that don't want a cellphone or a pager, because I don't WANT people getting hold of me that easily, but I'm home so rarely, that it's become more and more necessary. Oh well.

-- It dawned on me today that Cha may see this, now. Since she is friends with cheaps1utsavior, it's conceivable that she could run across this one day and hear all my bitching about her. Well, maybe that'll help, who knows? It won't make me censor it any.

-- Speaking of people reading this, I was asked the other day if I was worried that Heidi might read this, and see what I really feel that I'm not telling her, which would be just as bad as saying it. I know she knows I have it, because I've mentioned things I've written there before. Well, this weekend, she and I had a long, deep discussion, about lots of things. Interestingly enough, after I made some comment about bitching about Cha in my journal, she said something to the point that while she knew it was here, and it would be interesting reading, she didn't want to read it, because she felt I needed a place to vent, etc., free from repercussions. Damn, I'm impressed...and that much more fallen for her.

-- I'm not going to go into detail here, but if you ask me for help, opinions, or analysis, I'm not going to give you anything but the truth. As General Turgidson once said, "Now, truth isn't always a pretty thing." But that's the way it is. I will not sugar-coat things for you, I will not give you little white lies, and I will not telll you what you want to hear. And the closer friends we are, the more likely I will be brutally honest with you. I'd rather you hate me temporarily but you are helped, than to bullshit you and see you hurt. So, if you don't like the answers I give you, you should cease asking scary questions. There are those I consider family, and if you are one of them, then you will get it the worst. And the best.
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