August 27th, 2001


Cock The Hammer, It's Time for Action

Well, I finally did it. last night, I told Heidi that I love her.

Things went a lot better than I expected, actually. I've been keeping it to myself for so long, because, eith the way things were, I didn't want it to become even harder than it already was for her to leave, both leave Seattle and leave me. But, as the zero hour draws nearer and nearer, I finally couldn't take it anymore...I had to make sure she knew.

We all went out to the Mercury Saturday night, for her going-away gathering, and a card was circulating around everyone while she was away from the table. Mick managed to get me away from the group long enough to sign it, even though I'm driving her back to Virginia, and I debated back and forth until i finally just wrote it on the card (yeah, as discordian put it, I left a paper trail *LOL*). Unfortunately, it was so dark and smoky in the club that she couldn't really read the card until Sunday. Regardless, we wewre sitting around watching TV and she asked me what was on my mind, and I decided to just tell her. I told her that I love her, and that I'm going to miss her, and that I will be waiting for her return, and that I was sorry if it made things harder, but I had to let her know.

Luckily, she said she had been thinking it for a while anyway, so it didn't make things harder, and she seemed glad to hear it. The only thing that kept it all from being picture-perfect was that she didn't say it back, but I do believe that she feels it too, and that is enough for me right now. No rush, no pressure; I wasn't there to hear her say it, I was there for ME to say it.

So now it's out. Thank the Goddess.

On a completely separate note, my computer at work 86'd itself over the weekend, so I spent the first half of the day re-imaging my drives and attempting to recover as much data as I could. Got a lot of it, lost all my e-mail and my bookmarks. Oh well...

Also unrelated, I'm starting on the paying sample job, and I am officially up for the redesign of the other site I helped work on Friday. That could turn into a nice chunk of change...Goddess watch that deal in the making...everyone hope for the best!
  • Current Music
    Men At Work - Down Under

Let Down

OK, my day just took a downward turn.

So Alice comes to me at work, and gets me out to smoke so we can talk. About what, I wonder, figuring I'm not going to like it.

(*sigh*) Sometimes, I hate being right.

She has decided, due to factors which I don't feel like going into detail about right now (too much typing), that she cannot take it, and is moving out as of this weekend, with someone I don't know, and doesn't want this to affect our friendship.

What friendship? She hasn't been HOME in a week and a half, and when I do see her, she's distant. And she goes and does shit like this, at times when it is the hardest to handle it, without even any real warning. She's not even going to be giving me her part of the rent for a couple weeks.

Whatever. I have enough to think about right now, without dealing with 'friends' who are only there for you when it's convienent and they don't have other plans. True colors always shine through.
  • Current Music
    Foo Fighters - Break Out