December 24th, 2002


Mad Professor's Holiday Lecture

So, it's the day before Xmas, and all through the house,
The bored and broke parents are starting to grouse,
The stockings are hung by the chimney with care
(in the few that have chimneys, which are getting quite rare),

And I at my Dad's place, and all you out there,
Are prepared to see kids doing dumb things on a dare,
And listen to all the off-key carolers sing,
You know, all of those dopey holiday things...

I know that this day may be Christian in scope,
But that doesn't mean that we all cannot cope,
For remember that the holiday was Roman before,
And Pagan before that (wow, I like it a bit more!)

Those package exchanges, so wallet depleteing,
Were started by the citizens of Rome, fond of treating
Themselves to indulgence most gross and wide-ranging,
Who found that that their taste for parties was unchanging...

That tree, with it's weight of trimming and lights?
A hybrid of Roman and Pagan delights,
We do not use candles anymore, which is smart,
For fire has a way of destroying the art.

As for the concept of the Savior's beginning,
Setting it in the middle of winter is sinning,
For, reading the Bible, you'll find (funny thing)
The Jesus, "The Lord", was born in the spring.

The Pope and the Church decided together
That adding Christmas to winter, in spite of the weather,
Would give all those 'converts' succor for the way
The crusades beat them down, took their pride away.

In the face of Nativities, Santas, and songs,
Don't put them all down, and stoop to their wrongs,
Keep in mind the true history of Yuletide Lore:

Whether with those you love, or away across the country (or the world), I wish you all the best possible holiday season, but now and for the new year. You are my friends, and you give me hope and strength and support, and that makes you near and dear to my heart. Happy Yuletide Season, and the merriest of New Year's, my friends.