March 6th, 2003


Man's Best Friend

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long Black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit-bull on a leash. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file. The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog.
"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file.Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Join the queue"
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You are Jack the Ripper. Yours were some of the most brutal murders recorded in history - yet your case is still to this day unsolved. You came from out of the fog, killed violently and quickly and disappeared without a trace. Then for no apparent reason, you satisfy your bloodlust with ever-increasing ferocity, culminating in the near destruction of your final victim, and then you vanish from the scene forever. The perfect ingredients for the perennial thriller. You are quite mysteriously demented!

Which Infamous Criminal Are You?
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The New French Commandos

With a war pending in Iraq, President Jacques Chirac of France today unveiled a French Commando in his new French "battle dress" with experimental assault vehicle. Ladies & gentlemen: Behold...the FR-2003 "Le Sique Fuquer"

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(*thanx and my medical bill go out to nightmaven for this*)