April 1st, 2003

Typing

Joke Of The Morning

An Irish girl went to London to work as a secretary and began sending home money and gifts to her parents. After a few years they asked her to come home for a visit, as her elderly father was getting frail and very hard of hearing.

She pulled up to the family home in a Rolls Royce and stepped out wearing diamonds and a full-length fur coat. As she walked into the house her father said, "Hmmm--they seem to be paying secretaries awfully well in London these days."

The girl took his hands and said "Dad--I've been meaning to tell you something for years but I didn't want to put it in a letter. Obviously I can't hide it from you any longer. I've become a prostitute."

Her father gasped, put his hand on his chest and keeled over. The doctor was called but the old man had clearly lost the will to live. He was put to bed and the priest was called.

As the priest administered the Last Rites with the mother and daughter weeping and wailing nearby, the old man muttered weakly, "I'm a goner--killed by my own daughter! Killed by the shame of what she's become!"

"Please forgive me," his daughter sobbed, "I only wanted to have nice things! I wanted to send you money and the only way I could do it was by becoming a prostitute."

Brushing the priest aside, the old man sat bolt upright in bed, smiling. "Did you say PROSTITUTE ?? I thought you said PROTESTANT!!"
Typing

Thoughts On Love

Comment made to shadowpixie this morning:
Love is one of the weirdest situations a human can experience. We can say that we have been in love, or not been in love, but we are also adept at lying to ourselves. I've seen plenty of people that claimed they weren't in love with someone...but their actions said differently. I've also seen the opposite. I've watched people desperately search for love and fail, and seen some try to avoid it and attract mates like flies. We desire that companionship and committment, but get scared by having it, and then lament losing it. Even if it's gone, are you the better for having experienced it? And if you have it again, will you realize that the former wasn't 'real'? Love...love is a bitch. But a cute one.
Agree/disagree?
  • Current Music
    The Darkest Of The Hillside Thickets - Ogdru Jahad
Typing

I Hate My Joints And Musculature

Man, about halfway through yesterday, my entire body started hurting...this cold or whatever it is is just slowly creeping over me, and doesn't wanna go away or speed up. By the time I went to bed, I was one big sore spot...hell, I was hurting in places I need three mirrors just to see. The raw spot in my throat didn't help matters any.

I might have been in a better mood, but I had to turn a webpage into a PDF file for a web project. Normally, this wouldn't be that hard, but the client wants certain things included on it, and they are clueless. The problem is that if things are laid out the way they wanted, it'll take up 4 pages...and they want it to be 2. Well, guess what, buddy, I'm not David Copperfield, I can't make 2 pages magically disappear, Still, the page code was generated by Dreamweaver (*shudder* Ewwww...HTML editors*), so a little cleaning of the code and fixing it made it all possible. Took fuckin' forever, but it worked, so the client should be happy. Then I looked at the clock and realized that I hadn't had anything to eat, drink, or smoke for 6 hours...no wonder I was bitchy.

Throat seems to be better today...but the day ain't over yet.
  • Current Music
    Collide - Obsession
Typing

Perfection

Oh wow...the rian just started POURING down...beautiful. Window's open, slight cool breeze, the sound of a storm...

I'm in heaven.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EDIT: Well, that was fun, for the 5 minutes it lasted. *sigh*
Flamestick

Evenings, And It's Madness As Usual

After a slow afternoon, polarbear invited Di and I out to do the dinner thing, which was extremely cool. A fun evening of laughter resulted...I just don't get to hang with him enough.

More work on the PDF...but dammit, it's perfect now. So there.
  • Current Music
    Megadeth - In My Darkest Hour