May 27th, 2003


Thinking Can Be Bad For You

After what was a pretty good weekend, the holiday was sort of a downer for me. I was already in kind of an apathetic mood, which is dealable, but in my boredom, I dragged out a bunch of my old games, just for somethign to do. Unfortunately, it just made me remember when I got to play those games, and how I generally don't have anyone around to play anymore, since they tend to require more than two people.

Needless to say, this REALLY depressed me. And, sad to say, I haven't completely gotten past the mood. I'm in better spirits, but it's still eating at me.

C'est la vie, right?
  • Current Music
    Paul Oakenfold & Planet Perfecto - Get Out of My Life Now


When I get really down or occupied, there's nothing like a good, hard, driving song that I can get my head-banging and air-guitar on to. It's more than just my ex-rocker coming out, it's more than liking the song, it's the energy that comes out of the energy I used to get onstage.

Let me tell you about being onstage - nothing beats that. NOTHING. Better than money, better than sex, better than anything you can imagine. There you are, pouring all your energy into your music, and you project that energy outwards to the crowd; you blast it like a firehose, letting it spray everywhere, and you drench that crowd in your vibe, your groove, the sheer force of your music. The crowd, for their part, they don't turn away, they don't flinch, they drink that shit down, absorbing it all, letting none go to waste, like the concept of allowing any of it to get away is like like throwing your money in the street...sacrilege. They take it, they take it all, and then, then, only then does the reaction occur. Your music, your energy, it fuels that reaction, but against all laws of physics and the universe, that fuel isn't used up, it actually multiplies, becoming twice, thrice, four times what it was. All this happens so quickly, that before you know it, that energy comes back at you, hitting you with the force of a tidal wave, washing over you with the heat of a thousand suns...but you do not burn, you don't crisp, you don't even tan. Instead, you feed on it, glut yourself with it, gorge yourself like a black hole that's whirled too close to a fiery star. At that moment, you are are no longer human, no longer organic, no longer of this become light, heat, energy, plasma, thought...and it cycles, back and forth, back and forth, continuously between you and that audience, and nothing else can touch you, nothing can hurt you, you are invincible, are a GOD.

I've lived for that moment...and I miss it like no one can say. The closest I get to feeling that again, is when one of those songs comes of those that just seems to have a little of that energy bound within it. This is one.

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  • Current Music
    Bad Religion - American Jesus


Well my friends, today, May 27th, in the year of 1647 -- the very first RECORDED American execution of a "witch" took place in Massachusetts. Of course, these "witches' -- or "wise-ones" were simple midwives & healers, using nothing more than herbs that they found in the forest or in the bogs....depending on the location.

So, one day --literally--a midwife could deliver a baby, and the next be accused of being a 'devil worshiping witch'. Those poor women -- and even the men -- weren't spared.
  • Current Music
    Rush - Spirit of Radio