December 15th, 2003


An Evening With The Red Elvises (

Fuckin' WOW. Let me just start off by saying that anyone in the area that didn't come out to this missed out. You missed out on a fun, high-energy show that you may not get another chance to experience. I think they are playing Eugene tonight, the last show of the tour, so you MIGHT have one more chance...

OK, delilahbowie picked me up at 7:30, and off we went. Life has intruded on both our lives lately, so it was good to get to see her and hang out for a while. Gave us a chance to kinda catch up and talk, and for all that we were only in the car a total of an hour all night, we did manage to get in a lot of convo, so that was just cool.

Anyway, off we went, into downtown Portland, ended up parking in the same area as the band's van! OK, just a minor coolness, but whatever. In we went, the place not full yet, got drinks and a great table, and settled in. The boys came and did a (not-so) quick soundcheck, and then reappeared, ready to go. Flamboyant as always, Igor strode to centre mic wearing a suit that appeared to be made of stuffed-animal-tiger plush, Oleg picked up his balalaika wearing a shiny red suit. Oleg (other one) walked over to his keyboard in a three-piece suit of black flames over red, and Adam took the drum kit in a red sequinned jacket. With no further ado, they launched into 'Lovepipe', and the spectacle began. Somewhere in the middle of the first or second song, leshrac showed up, which was cool, since we've been meaning to hook up for a year, give or take, and just never managed to do it. At some point, the band played 'This Music Is Wasted (If We Don't Dance)', and he and Rachel managed to get me to move my fat ass up to the dance floor to throw times.

Highlights of the night included
- Oleg dragging a good 8 or 9 ladies (and one chunky, pencil-moustached asian guy) up on stage for 'I Wanna See You Bellydance'
- Accordion solos
- Crowd participation on 'Sex In Paradise'
- a 5-minute drum solo which consisted of the rest of the band putting up their instruments, grabbing drumsticks, and proceeding to gather around the drum kit, all playing in unison with the THAT'S a drum solo! They then left Adam there to pull off a drum solo of his own which was amazing.
- Igor's dancing and Elvis impersonations
- Being told that the audience screaming on the opening of 'Roketman' sounded so cool, they were gonna start over again, just to hear it again

As for my own side experience, as mentioned, I was supposed to hook up with Oleg about potentially doing some graphic work for them. I approached him between sets, and introduced myself, and we talked for a little bit about a couple things they wanted to do. It was way cool just to chat with him, much less to think that I may be working for them soon (freelance, of course, I'm not being hired by the band or something!). We talked a little while longer, and I got he and Igor to autograph a poster for me:

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Happy as a clam, I returned to our table for the second half of the show, which was just as kick-ass as the first half. Man, adrenaline pumping, bopping and dancing, having a blast. Couldn't have asked for a better show...just wish zombiedip hadn't been sick and could have been with me. All good things must come to an end eventually, though, and they finally left (after a single encore song). We considered hanging around afterwards to try and get a pic with them or something, but it was pretty obvious to me that they were gonna be mobbed, and I didn't know how long it would have taken, so we opted to go ahead and get outta there. Still, before we went our separate ways, we did manage to get one pic in, thanks to a helpful guy from the car next to us:

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Rachel and I drove back towards my place, stopping at Burger King for onion rings, as they sounded good, and it dawned on me that, other than a couple drinks at the show, I hadn't had anything in my stomach since 11 o'clock that morning. Returning to the house, I found Di still up, which was cool, so we all hung out for a little before Rachel finally struck out for home. We have plans, though to go out Friday night, as I understand that David J is playing, and I'd love to see him live.
  • Current Music
    Red Elvises - We Got The Groove

Things That Make You Go Boom

A physically large guys meets a woman at a bar, and after a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, ready for ... the act, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms, and says "See there, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!".

She begins to drool.

The man drops his pants, and strikes a muscle builders pose, and says, referring to his bulging legs "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!".

She is aching for action at this point.

Finally, he drops his underpants, and she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to run out the door, and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to leave?".

She replies "With 2000 pounds of dynamite, and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
  • Current Music
    Delerium - Metaphor
Smackdown (Anger)

People With Too Much Extra Money

I see this all the time. Some picture, or Flash cartoon, or something makes it's rounds of the Net, sure, fine, haha, it's funny, or cute, or disgusting, or what have you. Sure, no biggie. But then, and this is the part that gets me, somebody puts up a URL that links to only that one thing.

Someone had to actually put down money to register this name, go through the motions of pointing it somewhere (one assumes that in these cases, they aren't buying separate hosting, but rather pointing it specifically elsewhere), just to show this pic/cartoon/whatever. Nothing better to spend that cash on? They aren't even putting up ad banners in the vain hope that they'll get a few cents on click-thrus.

Perfect examples: - That damn 'badgers, badgers, badgers, mushroom' song/cartoon - The pathetic cat with the carved lime-peel helmet - easily one of the most disgusting pix on the net (I'm not kidding, don't click it. Especially if you are at work. Or at home. Or are breastfeeding. Or if you have any small children. Or large children. Or parents. Or a pet. Or you are sick. Or well. Or breathing. You've been warned.)

As if the 'Net wasn't cluttered with enough other useless random stuff...and especially as if we haven't all seen them already.