December 31st, 2003

Flamestick

If Adventure Has A Name...

...It Must Be Indiana Jones.

Ba BaBa Baaaaaaa, Ba BaBa.......Ba BaBa Baaaaaaaa, Ba BaBa Ba Ba.....Ba BaBa Baaaaaa, Ba BaBaaaaaaa....Ba BaBa, Ba BaBa, Ba BaBa, BaBaBAAA, Ba BaBaaaaaaaa

Did I mention I'm playing "Indiana Jones and the Emperor's Tomb"? Ooooohh, Pretty.....
Typing

Groaners

It had promised to be a sensational divorce case, with the wife accused of incredible escapades. Testifying before her own attorney, she projected an image of sweet innocence, told a tale of wifely fidelity and sacrifice, and was quite believable.

When it was time for cross-examination though, the husband's lawyer arose and said, "Isn't it true that on the night of June 12, in a driving rainstorm, you had sexual intercourse with a certain circus midget on the handle bars of a careening motorcycle as it raced across a private golf course reaching speeds in excess of seventy-five miles per hour?"

She turned pale but retained her remarkable self-control and composure. Her voice was almost serene in its innocence as she asked, "What was that date again ?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce" she yelled. Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said.

"Strewth," Bruce said and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Cobba" (his mate). They came back and they both tried to pull her up.

"No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B." Cobba said

"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce. "What's that"?

"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles under her and release the vacuum." replied Cobba

"Spot on" Bruce said. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits."

"Play with her tits"? Cobba said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate?"

"No" Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive".
Typing

State Of Music

Continuing on my mini-rant the other day about modern music...

Now, ignoring your personal preference for a moment, ever wonder why more modern tracks just don't seem to sound very good? Kinda thinking the mix is off? There's a damn good reason for that...check this essay about waveform manipulation.

Frightening to see two sets of waveforms, and realize the scary looking one is Celine Dion, and the mild looking one is old AC/DC. Speaking of AC/DC...time to rock...
  • Current Music
    AC/DC - Highway To Hell (Live)
Smackdown (Anger)

Gimme A Break

Dig the first panel on today's Penny Arcade.

Now, tell me: do any of you actually believe this? And, if you do, what do the other colours allegedly stand for? I mean, c'mon, In return, I'll give you the list of what all the colours of M&M's allegedly do to you.
  • Current Music
    L7 - Shitlist
Typing

Quote Of The Evening

30 minutes left in 2003 (for the US West Coast, anyway). strangewink is hanging out, and he and I have quickly polished off a bottle of Tarantula tequila, so, needless to say, we're in a funny mood. Still, the quote for the night comes courtesy of the entirely sober zombiedip:

"Oh, I'm not surprised. Pussy always comes up when two guys are together."

And, on that note, the year draws to a close.

Happy New Year, My Friends! May the coming year bring your twice as much happiness as the old one, and a fraction of the pain, may your wealth and holdings increase, your sorrows and debts decrease, may your family prosper, and your enemies suffer, may the sun always shine on your face and the wind always be at your back. Love you guys!