March 23rd, 2004

Kiss My Ass

Learn Frickin' English

It's bad enough that people can't seem to spell.  But damn, TRY...and while you are at it, learn the proper words.

Two recent examples that just annoy me.
- 1. Chick talking about the people who live around her, in a derogatory manner: "She, like most of her elk..."  Elk?  You live in a zoo?  The work is ilk.

- 2. Guy, talking about stupid people, trying to talk down to them, referring to something as being in "easier to understand for you lamen".  When I asked him what the bloody fuck that was supposed to mean, he responded that it meant "stupid people who don't know".  Apparently, somewhere in his street-wise lump of Play-Doh™ he calls a brain, he had decided that "laymen" was related to "lamers".

Humans...sheesh.  Sometimes, I wish they all had one neck...right here between my hands...yes, I'm going through one of my very misanthropic moods, lately.
  • Current Music
    Supertramp - The Logical Song
The Mask (Laughing)

Weird Links

Well, I didn't think I'd be able to top the Siamese Twin porn from yesterday, at least not for a while...but this does it.  Fanfic is one thing...slash is another.  Furries are even weirder...but Transformers?  Yep, apparently there are people out there that think of Transformers getting nekkid and getting some bootay...and then write stories/draw pictures of it.  Don't ask me, man, I didn't do it.


On a less sexual side, did you know that the Second Coming of Christ has already happened?  Apparently, his name is Ted, and you better follow his list of commandments.

TedJesusChristGOD's Commandments

Looks like you can sum them up in one simple phrase: "Don't do ANYTHING."  I think the best part is the fact that the links at the bottom are all to files on his harddrive.  I really thought this was a hoax...but I've talked to people since seeing it that have gotten spam from him, and one who has multiple links for his site, which I guess gets removed and has to go elsewhere from time to who knows.
  • Current Music
    The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets - Six-gun Gorgon Dynamo
Burn The World

New People

Been a little lax, and see that some new friends are reading the ramblings...hey, y'all!

One in particular: bruxa_bauru, I can't read a single thing ya write, but you are welcome here nonetheless!
  • Current Music
    Paul Oakenfold - Speed (Swordfish OST)


OK, last entertainment post for the morning, I promise, just making up for yesterday, I guess.
Sue and Jane are shopping together at the supermarket. When they get to the vegetables, Sue hefts a good sized potato in each hand and says, "You know, Jane, these remind me of John's balls."
Jane, impressed says, "Hmm, that big, huh?"
"No", Sue answers. "That dirty."


A guy comes home to his wife one evening with a big bunch of flowers and she says "I suppose this means I have to get on my back with my legs open for the next three days".
The husband says "Why? Don't you have any vases?"


A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As it made its appearance it was dark and had an afro. The doctor said, "Ma'am, have you ever slept with a black man?" She said, "Well, yes, but only once." "Once is all it takes" he replied. Then the torso appeared and it was yellow. "Ma'am, have you ever slept with an Asian man?" the doctor asked. "Well, yes" she said, "but only once." "Once is all it takes," he said. When the legs appeared they were red. The doctor asked her if she had ever slept with an Native American and she said, "only once," and he replied that that was all it took. Then the doctor held it upside down and slapped its bottom to make it cry. "Oh, thank God," she exclaimed "at least it doesn't bark!"
  • Current Music
    Rolling Stones - Mother's Little Helper