June 3rd, 2004


Game Mentions

Just to the game geeks out there:

Finished "IronStorm' today. Very pretty, and not too monotonous, but still a basic run'n'gun. The begining was a serious bitch, then it got fairly easy until the ending, which was anti-clamactic, one of those 'OK, load next area, ok, a cutscene...wait, that was the end?!?' kinda moments...and that after an unnecessarily circuitous last level. Still, had a lotta fun with it, worth playing.

And now, on to either Syberia 2 or Thief 3.

ADDENDUM: OK, OK, zombiedip was right, Thief 3...*shudder*...ooOOOoohhh, it's so pretty....
  • Current Music
    Godsmack - Whatever

International Miscue

*ganked from deusinnomen*

Last month, a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure…

* In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

* In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

* In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

* In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

* In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

* In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

* And in the US they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Smackdown (Anger)

Disney Strikes Again

The Cult Of The Mouse has gone and done it again: taken a classic piece of literature, decided to make a film out of it, and opted, somewhere along the line, to just rewrite the damn thing. This time, it's Around The World In 80 Days. Let's see...added a 'femme fatale' passenger on the trip, made Fogg some kind of eccentric genius inventor (rollerblades?!?), and cast Jackie Chan as Passepartout. Three quick strikes. Add in "an international all-star cast", and what do you have? A classic redone as a "family comedy" with a lot of over-acted celebrity cameos, bearing almost no resemblance to the actual book. And, as usual, everyone will fawn all over it, adults will send their kids to see it (and later buy it), and another great piece of literature will be fucked up for generations to come.
"This version of the classic novel focuses on Passepartout (Chan), a Chinese thief who steals a valuable jade Buddha and then seeks refuge in the traveling companionship of an eccentric London inventor and adventurer, Phileas Fogg (Coogan), who has taken on a bet with members of his gentlemens' club that he can make it around the world in a mere 80 days. Along the way, Passepartout uses his amazing martial arts abilities to defend Fogg from the many dangers they face. One major threat to their adventure is a detective that's following them. Why? Just as Fogg and Passeportout left London, a major bank was robbed, with Fogg suspected of using the "around the world" trip as an excuse to escape."
Um...what the bloody fuck? I can't be the only person who's cringing about this description. Not even a good one to do, nowadays. 80 days? If they have two brain cells to rub together, they'll just be surprised that it took so long.

*sigh* And, as usual, I'll look like a grumpy old man for hating it. Ah well, fine.