January 24th, 2008


Bringin' The Stupid

MARION COUNTY, Fla. -- Pastor Renee Brewster and her husband Bishop Winston Brewster are a very spiritual couple. But the site of their savior in a potato has reinvigorated their faith and their desire to help others. “That’s Jesus on the Cross. Just looking at it I don't have to convince,” said Renee. Renee says she had been looking for an excuse to get out of making potato salad. “I was hesitant about making the potato salad because Sister Frankie makes the potato salad at church and I said lord if it’s not for me to make potato salad then send me a sign.” She thought she got her sign right off the bat. “The first potato I split in half and put it to the side because it looked rotten. It was her 10-year-old granddaughter who made her give the potato a second look. “My granddaughter said Granny did you see that in the middle? I said what?” And taking a closer look she saw the cross with Jesus in the middle. “It’s remarkable. Even when I cut the good part off the cross ended up being shaped like a tomb from long ago.”

Right, because God really gives two shits whether you or Sister Frankie makes the damn potato salad. If this is the depth of your life, man, damn, your toes aren't even getting wet.


A 20-year-old female corrections officer is facing sex assault charges for allegedly performing oral sex on a male inmate on New Year's Eve in an Oklahoma jail. Assault, right...even the prosecutor admits the inmate didn't object, and why would he? You're in jail, and a guard of your preferred gender chooses to celebrate the New Year by making out with you and giving you head...well, not like you're gonna say no, in general. Yet another situation that makes you wonder how low the average IQ has become.

MPAA Looks Like A Bunch Of Chumps, Justifiably

OK, OK, I know what you're saying: they ARE a bunch of chumps. And you're right. Still, get this.

See, the MPAA likes to wave this figure around a lot: the fact that their study shows that 44% of their lost revenue is due to illegal downloading of movies by college students. This study has been used to work on forcing campuses to install internet watchdog software, which is a huge pain in the ass (see recent post about a rider for college money in a government bill).

Well, that sounds like bullshit to me. Always did. And now, the MPAA admits that it is, in fact, bullshit.

Now, they've told education groups a "human error" in that survey caused it to get the number wrong. It now blames college students for about 15 percent of revenue loss. Oops. Still, that's a big chunk they say, and campuses need to crack down on this rampant piracy.

Except that it's still mostly bullshit. Since only 20% of students live on campus and, thus, use campus networks, that means that rampant piracy that they want these safeguards in place to stop is a whopping 3% of their lost revenue. Not exactly a big chunk now, is it?

Try again, you money-grubbing fat cats.
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