OK, it's true that my "I hate feeling alone in the crowd" kicked in hardcore. It made me feel more alone than usual, and it made me miss the feeling of having that kind of community around me. Made me remember what it was like to go to some local event and have at least half the room know me, have people coming up to me for a hug and a smile all night. I miss that. I miss that a lot. I'm not sure when I went from being accessible to not.
*shrug* Guess I just got old...and moved away. Besides, hard to have people know you when you never get out.