Oh, christ, if that's not just the most begging way of opening up a post, I don't know what is. This makes me want to erase it, but then I have to ask myself if that means I'm censoring myself or just being practical, and if leaving it is obnoxious and attention-whoring or just honest. Frankly, that's more thought than I really want to engage in this morning, so, fuck it, it stays.
Of course, I should follow that with some actual content, but that brings up a new level of consideration. Do I really want to blather out my bullshit in public again? If I do, who will I piss off or hurt, and do I want them hurt, necessarily? If I don't, then should I censor that and say nothing, in which case, why am I bothering at all? Yeah, this just gets better and better.
Lack of content/constant whining means less people reading and commenting, and that's already at a pretty low level. It's not that I want ratings or something, but this is my main connection to the outside world, and having no interaction through it makes me feel even more disconnected than I usually am. This leads to a cycle that spirals downward...whee.
SO! Changes must be made. Need to slowly but surely ease some factors out of my life that are only causing me stress or are not adding value. Remaining things need to modified in positive ways, need to be focused on in ways that i used to but have fallen out of practice doing. A couple things could be added but, in the meantime, I need to stop being bummed at not having them and, instead, focus on the hunt. As for things I have no control over, I need to ignore them and move on or accept them and support them.
Now, let's see if I can put this into action.