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08 February 2012 @ 06:52 am
For The Luvva Something, Leave It Alone  
So, new Spider-Man. Again.

Last time, they up and decided that Spidey was generating the webs himself, and Green Goblin was in a really weird set of armor. Now they've put back the web-shooters, but decided that Parker is somehow connected to the creation of The Lizard and his dad was some big-deal scientist? Is his "spider bite" now an intentional injection (not sure, trailer wasn't clear)?

Seriously, is is so hard to just use the story that's there? If someone decided to do another Arthurian film, but change the story, there'd be outcry. Why stop there, why not change and update the story of Jesus? Why can't the Roman Caesars all be roller-blading, time-traveling hipsters? Perhaps Harriet Tubman was actually a man in drag, fighting against slavery and LGBT persecution, simultaneously. Maybe, just maybe, Mother Theresa was an operative for the Illuminati.

It's a pet peeve, a hot button for me. Yes, the above is hyperbolic, but the core is solid: why is it so difficult to use the story that is there and established and fine like it is?

And, really...Denis Leary? Ugh.

Edit to add: I fear those suggestions above will show up in Hollywood, now that I have spoken them aloud.
Stax: Spideystaxxy on February 8th, 2012 01:28 pm (UTC)
I suspect you know how I feel about hollywood fucking with the Spiderman storylines.

you know... after my stabby rant about Captain McFuckhead doing so in the comics...
air_n_darkness: The light!air_n_darkness on February 8th, 2012 04:42 pm (UTC)
Man, all of those rewrites will be in one movie and it will be directed by Michael Bay, because everything is cooler with explosions.

Thanks a lot, Frank.
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll: 100% Zombiearchmage on February 8th, 2012 10:18 pm (UTC)
If I can't make things better, i can at least make them worse.
Veira: holyfuckingshitveiravx on February 8th, 2012 07:14 pm (UTC)
Why can't the Roman Caesars all be roller-blading, time-traveling hipsters?

I don't know, but the lack of this movie in my life is like a big black hole where my soul should be.
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll: AMPDarchmage on February 8th, 2012 10:18 pm (UTC)
Well, the definition of one's goals is the first step. See freyis's comment below.
Sarahskeets on February 8th, 2012 09:02 pm (UTC)
The way I hear it, the new Spider-Man only exists because if they didn't make another movie, they'd lose the rights to that franchise.

Don't get me wrong, though--it's *way* too soon for a Spider-Man reboot, and I liked the Tobey Maguire movies plenty, thankyouverymuch. (well, the first two, anyway) Morbid curiosity is probably not going to be enough to get my butt in a theater seat for this one. :p
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Rollarchmage on February 8th, 2012 09:04 pm (UTC)
I certainly hope not. The more butts we keep out of seats for things, the less likely that more of it gets made. People need to stop supporting bad cinema, if there's ever to be any hope of it being curtailed.

Not that I think that'll ever happen, but a man can dream.
freyisfreyis on February 8th, 2012 10:14 pm (UTC)
"Why can't the Roman Caesars all be roller-blading, time-traveling hipsters?"

You have now given my my first project when I acquire my copy of RPG Maker VX Ace.

Thanks! :D
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Rollarchmage on February 8th, 2012 10:17 pm (UTC)
I expect a "special thanks to" credit and a review copy of the game. :P
freyisfreyis on February 8th, 2012 10:42 pm (UTC)
Better yet, you can beta test if you'd like. It's going to be freeware anyways, I would never expect someone to pay for my first project in such a thing.

Now the hard part. How the hell do you sprite up time traveling Roman roller-blading hipsters?
Synaptik/Chaossynaptikchaos on February 10th, 2012 01:49 pm (UTC)
Gotta say...
I would maybe watch that updated Jeebus film.
Dustymatrixleap on February 11th, 2012 08:34 am (UTC)
Because you mentioned "Arthurian"...



Looks kind of good...for a GN
Exhalations into the Etherdragon_smoke on February 15th, 2012 07:47 pm (UTC)
Well, at least we have "Battleship" to look forward to, right?

*ducks and runs*