coldSo I'm reading comments, checking my communities, seeing what's shakin', when I run across an LJ name that annoys and intrigues me at the same time. No, I'm not gonna mention it...suffice it to say that it was related to Egypt, through a popular movie, and was spelled wrong. I had to check it out,though, if only to see if this person was an idiot, or what. After all, since the name is in the subtitles of the movie and the credits, it's not hard to get it right (yes, I checked, it's not taken). OK, this chick...yikes. If this isn't a guy in drag, then I'm losing my touch. Hey, if it is, no problem, whatever gets you through the night...but some of the people commenting to s/he/it might wanna take it back! However, that's their business. I decide to check out the user info, and find that they are using this same misspelling for their LJ name, "real" name, AIM sn, and Geoshitties webpage...needless to say, it annoys me, but again, that's just my problem. Looking down the page, though, led to head-strike number two.
S/he/it is lj-friends with someone I haven't talked to in a long time. Which led me to check her LJ. No, I'm not mentioning her name either.
OK, background time. She and I met through The Fallen Angels, a mailing list dedicated to goth/industrial lifestyle, etc., which I moderate. The list is still around, but the meeting was years ago. Now, we are all pretty close on this list, and have been there for each other a lot. She didn't have a great life, at least that's how it always came across...I don't feel like going into it. Regardless, I liked her a lot, she was very cool, very interesting, fellow fan of Clive Barker and Hellraiser (yes, Cyn was well within the circle of friends too), and we talked more than a few times. Hell, I still have some artwork I did for her, somewhere. When her life got so twisted that she needed to leave the list, we were sorry to see her go, and some of us tried to keep up best we could, which wasn't easy, but it was worth it for a friend. Eventually, I stopped hearing from her. No reason why, no hint, just nothing there anymore. I was mildly concerned, but not hugely, because I could see from her website that she was still alive and well...OK, good. Some time down the road, I tried contacting her again a couple times...with no responses. Not too long after I started on LJ, I discovered she had one as well...still no response or recognition. At this point, I gave up; I hate to say it, but I did. There's only so far even *I* will try before I decide I'm being blown off.
Needless to say, looking over her journal, seeing that things seem to be happy and good, gave me a smile, but still cast a slight shadow, since, to this day, I dunno why the contact halted. Hell, if someone's tired of talking to me, they usually say something...and that never happened. It's like a phone convo that was cut off, and never called back. Sure, this was someone I didn't know in person, and I wasn't there to know what was happening. I know this, I'm not clawing my eyes out or anything. It's just that not having any resolution to things nibbles at me. And, to head off the comment, no, I'm not gonna say anything to her. It's not worth it. If it was accidental, if she was just so busy with things that she didn't respond, and it just went longer and longer until it was forgotten, then I do not want to cause unhappiness by pointing it out. If it was that she no longer desired mny friendship, then I don't feel like causing my own unhappiness by discovering it. I gain nothing here, therefore the risk is pointless. I'm just gonna watch, and be gals she's happy...and if we happen to reestablish, cool.
Just made me stop, read, and pause to think. Hmm.
