My mom was an overbearing bitch, and so my Dad was always kinda quiet. I knew he loved me, but he didn't show it. He did the best he could, but he worked a lot. Hell, for a chunk of my life, he traveled on business, and I saw him on weekends only, sometimes not even every weekend. I know now that half the reason he did was to get away from mom, but at the time, I just knew he wasn't around. I didn't resent that, though...I was always the kid that pulled away from the family. He did his thing, and that was that. This left me with mom most of the time, and that may go a long way towards explained why I can't stand her. She's the type that wants everything her way, and if it isn't, she makes it that way, regardless of anyone's feelings. If something that she cannot change isn't how she wants it, she pretends it doesn't exist. Needless to say, we clashed...a lot.
Finally, we all had a falling out. For over a year, I had no contact with them, at all, short of them driving over to Memphis from Nashville and taking my car away (which was technically in their names). I didn't care, I was so fed up with them that it didn't matter to me. Eventually, though, it was my Dad who established contact, who reached out and tried to be a father and son again. It wasn't easy, and it took a while, but we made up, and since then, he has always been there for me, and I for him. When he and mom got divorced, he was the one who called to let me know, and it was he I sided with...which did nothing for my relationship with my mom. Still, I understood why he did it, he had been basically ignored for the last 10 years of their mnarriage, and he was fed up. Hell, as I told him, that was part of the reason I moved out of the house, so I was there for him. My brother was young enough to still be home, and so he ended up under mom's thumb, and she turned him against Dad. He and I have gotten back to being brothers, but for a long time, we did not get along in the slightest. He still rarely talks to Dad, and I know that bothers him, but he can only try so much. Regardless, it has always been my Dad who I have gotten along with.
He's traditional, religious, totally unlike me. He's Christian, and we know how I feel about that. My long hair and loud music is anathema to him. My intellect and his street sense have been at odds more than once. About the only thing we have in common is the fact that we both went to college...and dropped out. That and the fact that we, neither one, can stand mom...*LOL* I hjad a long discussion with her, back in September, about how things were between she and I, and told her there had to be a recolciliation, and that this discussion wasn't the end, just a start, to which she agreed. However, true to form, she has decided that all is hunky-dory, and just went right on her merry way. Old dogs, new tricks...go figure.
Somehow, we get along famously. Maybe because I respect him. Or maybe, because he actually respects me. I'd take a bullet for my Dad. My mom, shit, I'd wield the gun.