God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll (archmage) wrote,
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll
archmage

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The Book Of Fire

1.In the Beginning, God said 'Let there be Fire.' 2.And there was Fire. And God looked and saw that it was Good. 3.And God told Man 'Take thee this Beast of the Field, and slaughter it, that thou mayest eat the Meat of it. 4.And Man cried out that the Meat was cold, 5.and God said unto him 'Place the Meat upon the Fire, that it mayest be cooked to thine liking.' 6.And Man placed the Meat upon the Fire, and Lo, he did Burn it to a Crisp.

7.God did throw up his Hands at this, and said 'Man, thou art a Fool.' 8.And He said unto Goddess 'See what you can do with him, I'm Tired.' 9.And Goddess said 'Let there be the Grill', 10.And God said 'Hey, not Bad.'

11.And God did send his first-born Son to the Firmament of Earth, charging him with showing Man how to cook his Meat in the proper Way. 12.And the Grill Christ did come to Man, saying 'Stand back, and watch closely.' 13.And the Grill Christ did cook the flesh of the Beasts of the Field, and the Birds of the Air, and the Fish of the Sea, all while drinking Cola and smoking Cloves. 14.And Man did partake of the cooked Meats, and Lo, there was much rejoicing.

15.And God looked upon the glory of his Son's majesty, and said 'Let this be known forever as the Barbecue, and let all take heed, and do this in Remembrance of Him.' 16.And the Grill Christ did settle back in his chair, 17.And basked in the glow of their praise, all while munching the best damn cheeseburger he had ever made and drinking a bottle of Honey Mead. 18.Amen.
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    Jim Jeffries On Why Other Countries Think US Gun Laws Are Crazy Pretty well sums it all up, as far as I'm concerned.

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