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27 August 2001 @ 04:16 pm
Cock The Hammer, It's Time for Action  
Well, I finally did it. last night, I told Heidi that I love her.

Things went a lot better than I expected, actually. I've been keeping it to myself for so long, because, eith the way things were, I didn't want it to become even harder than it already was for her to leave, both leave Seattle and leave me. But, as the zero hour draws nearer and nearer, I finally couldn't take it anymore...I had to make sure she knew.

We all went out to the Mercury Saturday night, for her going-away gathering, and a card was circulating around everyone while she was away from the table. Mick managed to get me away from the group long enough to sign it, even though I'm driving her back to Virginia, and I debated back and forth until i finally just wrote it on the card (yeah, as discordian put it, I left a paper trail *LOL*). Unfortunately, it was so dark and smoky in the club that she couldn't really read the card until Sunday. Regardless, we wewre sitting around watching TV and she asked me what was on my mind, and I decided to just tell her. I told her that I love her, and that I'm going to miss her, and that I will be waiting for her return, and that I was sorry if it made things harder, but I had to let her know.

Luckily, she said she had been thinking it for a while anyway, so it didn't make things harder, and she seemed glad to hear it. The only thing that kept it all from being picture-perfect was that she didn't say it back, but I do believe that she feels it too, and that is enough for me right now. No rush, no pressure; I wasn't there to hear her say it, I was there for ME to say it.

So now it's out. Thank the Goddess.

On a completely separate note, my computer at work 86'd itself over the weekend, so I spent the first half of the day re-imaging my drives and attempting to recover as much data as I could. Got a lot of it, lost all my e-mail and my bookmarks. Oh well...

Also unrelated, I'm starting on the paying sample job, and I am officially up for the redesign of the other site I helped work on Friday. That could turn into a nice chunk of change...Goddess watch that deal in the making...everyone hope for the best!
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Men At Work - Down Under
Historicus Deus Innomennighthawk on August 27th, 2001 04:38 pm (UTC)
It's debateable which is harder, knowing you're in love, or saying it, and I find it really depends on your experiences and past.

Myself, falling in love will never be as easy again as it was the first time it happened, and after it burned me deeply.
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Rollarchmage on August 27th, 2001 05:21 pm (UTC)
Very true. In this case though, it wasn't hard, feeling or saying...the only hard part was NOT saying it for as long as I did.
violetvixen on August 27th, 2001 05:37 pm (UTC)
that is good
that it went so well *big supportive hugs*. I could say I'm sorry I missed the going away party, but then again I don't really know her - so it just probably saved her from some weird ass freak girl. *g*
Priestpriestofcards on August 28th, 2001 03:59 am (UTC)
Way to go Bro! Sometimes it is hard to say it especially when there is so much going on in the midst of all those feelings!!! (Pat on the back!!!)