God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll (archmage) wrote,
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll

Well...Um, Yeah

Hmmm...well, off we went, and entered this wasteland called 'Ember's'. You get to walk through the bar to get to the club area, and were immediately subjected to what appeared to be a lip-sync contest/thingy. Man, I feel sorry for the state of entertainment if that was the best that showed up, that's all I'll say for now. Trying my damndest to ignore it, off we went to the club area for it's (so-called) 'goth night'.

You know, a long time ago, I actually was a club kid. I used to frequent a place called 'Red Square' that was down the street from the apartment I shared with my girlfriend at the time, and it was a great place. Fairly small, lit enough to see, loud but not so much that you couldn't talk to your friends, good drinks, and a damn good set of DJs. Hell, I was down there a couple times a week, at least. Eventually, though, it closed...and since then have never found it's equal. I bring this up, because it's kind of my 'unicorn' now...the thing I look for and cannot find. ANd this...this wasn't in the same ballpark...hell, as Pitt put it, it's wasn't even the same fuckin' sport.

As with most clubs, it was WAY TOO FUCKING LOUD. The drinks were pretty weak (at least, mine was), and the floor was badly laid out. I saw all kinds of lights on the ceiling racks...but they weren't being used. The decor looked more like something out of a mid-western strip bar. Most importantly, though, the music was possibly the worst mix I've ever listened to.

I'm not kidding...this DJ was complete and utter shit. You know, when you are spinning, and you can see that the dancefloor is EMPTY, you know you are doing something wrong. In his case, I'm fairly certain he was a Thalidomide baby. No kind of transition ability, and no apprent sense of what 'goth' music is. I'm not being elitist here...I'm talking this guy was just completely uninformed. In an hour of music that I head, I picked out MAYBE four songs that worked. the happy-slappy-mix of Orgy's 'Blue Monday' was a bad idea (way too bouncy for goth), the Headcase remix of Curve's 'Chinese Burn' was a bad idea (I love Curve, but that was just wrong). Sisters of Mercy was good, but why the heavy techno remix? The Cure was good, but again, why the heavy remix? Genitorturers was good, but still didn't seem to fit well. I just wanted to go up to the booth, shove him out the window, and take over.

Of course, no club experience is complete without the asshole drunk who won't leave you alone, and guess who was the victim...go on, guess, I'll wait. That's right in one: Me. Do I look like I care that the chick you were hitting on doesn't wanna talk to you? Duh, jackass, think about it.

Anyway, so much for that. karzon tells me that normally the DJ is MUCH better (and Goddess, I hope so), so maybe I'll give it another shot in the future. Besides, it was good to get out with my lady and do something, and always good to see Joe and Rachel and any other friends I can be around. I think, though, for the most part, my club days are just WAY behind me. I generally don't dance, and when I do, let's face it, I'm a butt-rocker at heart. Di and I left, and on the way back out, were treated to a fat, ugly chick in a short plaid skirt, attempting to lip-sync to Veruca Salt, and looking for all the world like a beached whale in a schoolgirl outfit...and moving about as much. Now, THAT was funny.

In other news...yes, it's official. I'm 30. Initial thanks to superfledermaus, etherpunk, delilahbowie, and karzon for noting it already...and a similar shout out back to superfledermaus, who shares the day. Be safe over there, m'man.

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