Last night, after a shoot Di had with darkboy23, I had Di laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. You are right, discordian, I do need a warning label. Funny thing is that the convo started out mildly depressing. Well, that's just the way I am, I guess...can't talk about my own problems for long without resorting to humour, and once someone starts laughing, I gotta go with that.
I realized at some point last night what a hermit I have become. DAYS go by a with the only other human being I see being Di, and certainly the only human voice I hear. Hell, there are days I don't even leave this chair. I see no one, I talk to no one, I do nothing worthwhile. No wonder I babble when she gets home, I'm starved for attention. Hell, I don't even really chat with people online, except for a few. Mostly people talk to Di at work, and then I just find out that we are doing something. I'm much better face-to-face, in person.
For someone as addicted to people as I am, it's Hell. My option would be to go back to work, but that has it's own set of problems, and frankly, I don't feel like going into that.
Man, I must be in a rotten mood this morning, I'm willing to actually continue bitching about my own life. I'll never have my own child. I'm in terrible shape. I think I'm developing an ulcer. I think I'm going to have to have major surgery on my shoulder.
Fuck it, momentum's gone now.
In regards to some of the above, because I can only imagine the reactions/responses, let me clarify something. I am not in the LEAST bit unhappy with Di. In fact, I'm happier than I have ever been. For those of you who haven't heard yet, we have set a date to get married: Halloween, 2K4. Still leaving plenty of time to be 100% certain, but we are. I wouldn't trade her for the world and stars above, and I don't want anyone (especially her) thinking that my saying any of that means I'm tired of her, or resentful or anything even vaguely resembling that.