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10 March 2003 @ 07:06 pm
From The Mouths of Babes  
Earlier, before dinner, Bug decided to draw a pic of Di, me and himself, and for whatever reason decided that I was the king, Di was the queen, and he was the prince. All groovy, normal, no worries, unfunny, right?

Well, it started that way.

Then, he decided that he wanted to give me a scepter...and made some comment about my scepter being big enough for Mommy. Then it got funny.

Me: "So I have a big scepter, huh? One that mommy really likes?"
Bug: "Yeah, it's just right for her, since she doesn't have one."
Me: "Well, of course not, she's a queen..but that's OK, as long as she likes mine."
Bug: "Careful, she might try to get her hands on it."
Me: "Oh, most of the time, I can't keep her hands off my scepter, but I don't mind, she takes good care of it."
Bug: "You keep hold of it?"
Me: "Well, it's always with me, but I let her play with it."
Bug: "I don't have one...could I have a scepter when I'm bigger?"
Me: "I'm sure you will have one that someone will enjoy, yes."
Bug: "What if your scepter was THIS big?" (*holds hands as wide as he can*)
Me: "I don't think mommy would know what to do with it...and besides, where would I put it? No, I like my scepter just the way it is."
Bug: "I made you have a MAGIC scepter!"
Me: "Really? What does it do?"
Bug: "It can shoot fireballs, and lava."
Me: "So, I have a big scepter that mommy likes, and it shoots hot, sticky liquid?"
Bug: "Yeah, it can shoot all over her!" (*laughing*)
Me: "Guess I better warn her it's about to go off, huh?"

By this point, Di was holding in the laughter so hard that she could barely breathe, and asked me to shut up so she could attempt to calm down. Poor Bug had no idea what was so funny. I left the room to go back to cooking dinner, when I heard him say that it looked like my scepter was going up her butt...at which point Ifell apart.
 
 
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No Time For Love, Dr. Jones: And then -I- said...polarbear on March 10th, 2003 07:10 pm (UTC)

ROFLMAO.

Kids crack me up.
(no subject) - dporowski on March 10th, 2003 07:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Rollarchmage on March 10th, 2003 09:35 pm (UTC)
Re:
Well, I'd like to say I couldn't make up anything this funny, but i probably could...still, Di will vouch for it. It was easily the funniest thing I'd heard in a while, and it was so easy to keep going.

As for being warped...well, I hope so! After all my hard work, he better be! ;)
Your Momplanetnikita on March 11th, 2003 01:45 am (UTC)

That was the best thing EVER!
and you know when he's like 17 you guys have to repeat the story to him ;-)
My Life As A Military Wife & Motherbabyinga on March 10th, 2003 07:15 pm (UTC)
OMFG I think I better get in the shower cause I do believe I just peed myself. Poor Di!
Wolfyewolfye on March 10th, 2003 07:45 pm (UTC)

Oh man, you bad :P
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Rollarchmage on March 10th, 2003 09:37 pm (UTC)
Re:
Damn right!
Roy Hugginsroyhuggins on March 10th, 2003 08:31 pm (UTC)
Sweet...
That's one of the most horrible things I've ever read. Thank you for it. :)
Deechsavrille on March 11th, 2003 07:15 am (UTC)
Hahahaha!

I think you and I are on the same level with the kids.. :)

It's a lot of hard work, but one day, it'll all pay off and we'll release wonderfully independent, warped and creepy people into the world.. and laugh as the mundanes run in fear.

God of Thunder and Rock'n'Rollarchmage on March 11th, 2003 07:41 am (UTC)
Re:
Amen!
Melinoemelinoe on March 11th, 2003 07:39 am (UTC)
ROFLMAO...thats classic.
Priestpriestofcards on March 11th, 2003 06:53 pm (UTC)
Hail to da King baby!!!
What a fucking riot! I would have lost it waaaay before that! You know me... Always up for a good Freudian!

God of Thunder and Rock'n'Rollarchmage on March 12th, 2003 07:42 am (UTC)
Re: Hail to da King baby!!!
You and me both, m'man!