God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll (archmage) wrote,
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll

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Martial Arts Humour

As a former black belt in Tae Kwon Do, I thought this was a riot...admittedly, most of you might not get it, but can't say I didn't try.

John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson sitting in car talking. (Pulp Fiction music fades off...)

S: OK, so tell me again about TKD
J: Waddya wanna know?
S: Its a martial art, right?
J. Yeah, it's a martial art, but it ain't a 100% martial art. I mean you can't just walk into a dojo, throw on a gi and start punching away. They want you to hit in certain designated places.
S: And thats not on the face right?
J: OK, it breaks down like this: it's legal kick someone in the head, it's legal to kick someone on the body, and if you're quick it's legal to trip someone up, it's ILLEGAL to kick someone in the legs but...but...but that doesn't matter 'cos, getta loada this,
the TKD people don't know how to hit the face with the hands, I mean that's one skill TKD DON'T have.
S: Aw man. I'm goin', that's all there is to it, I'm fuckin' goin'.
J: Yer man, you'd dig it the most. But do you know what the funniest thing about TKD is?
S: What?
J: It's the little differences, I mean they got the gis and the same ego instructors as we got here, but there they're a little different.
S: Example.
J: OK. You can walk into a TKD dojo and do a Kata and I'm not talkin' about no 10 movement Kata, I'm talkin' about a 30 movement. And in TKD you spar with 10 inches of foam padding. Do you know what they call a DOJO in TKD?
S: They don't call it a DOJO?
J: Nah man, they don't come from Japan, they wouldn't know what the fuck a DOJO is.
S: So whadda they call it?
J: (assumes Korean accent) A Dojang.
S: A Dojang.
J: That's right.
S: And whadda they call a Kata
J: A Katas a Kata, but there they call it a Form or a Poomse (accent again).
S: (imitating accent badly) A Poomse?
(Both men laugh)
S: Whadda they call a Bokken?
J: I don't know, I didn't go play with any sticks. Do you know you can get a black belt in TKD in 2 years
S: What?
J: Two years
S: Aw man...
J: I've seen 'em do it man, they fuckin' given em away.
(cue music and fade...)

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