God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll (archmage) wrote,
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll

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More useless tests

Well, hell, I have nothing better to on my lunch break...

My IQ according to eMode, is 145. I happen to know that it's higher, but it's a website, what can you do?

Am I Evil? Why yes, yes I am.

On the 'evil' scale, I score 2 above normal (out of 5):

Yup, you're definitely very evil. Hell is holding a little room with your name on it. (Not that there's anything wrong with that. Lots of successful people have been evil: Donald Trump, Montgomery Burns, Martha Stewart.) You find others' pain funny. So what? You're a sneaky backstabber, luring your prey close, then striking like a vulture. But a cute, cuddly, appearances-can-be-deceiving vulture. Often, the snake lurking inside you will put your evilness to work in the bedroom solely for your own amusement. But we all have our faults, right? So if you want to change your ways, try to think about how you would feel if someone did to you what you do to the rest of the world. Or don't. Whatever. Evil is great — just don't kill anyone with your mind. Keep reading for more evil details!

On the 'sexually evil' scale, I score 2 above normal (out of 5):

We're all slaves to our urges — some just more than others. Sure, you probably shake it a little to get your way, but you don't beat yourself up over it (unless you're into that, of course). For your own sake, realize that getting hurt sexually generally stings more than being burnt with your clothes on. So even if your pillow pal has a mean set of love handles, keep it to yourself. Just listen to that little voice in your head (no, not that one), and the evil sex thing will stop.

On the 'passive aggressive' scale, I score 2 above normal (out of 5):

Don't feel too bad about hiding your anger. At least, not right now. When your spleen ruptures from internalized stress, then you can feel bad about it. Passive people act that way because they're ultimately sweet and don't want to upset anyone. While that may work for the short term, you end up looking like a real back-stabber when you, ah, stab someone in the back. Try to deal with your problems up front, and you probably won't have to renew your concealed weapons permit this year.

On the 'black-hearted' scale, I score 3.5 above normal (out of 5):

Ooo hoo — you're one evil muther. Your heart is blacker than Darth Vader's helmet. For goodness' sake, next time think about that old lady's feelings before you push her down the escalator. And, really — you know as well as anyone that dropping kitties out the window to see if they can land on their feet is just an excuse to act evil. Yes, it's all part of being a free spirit who doesn't answer to anyone. Right or wrong, it's a fun way to live. But be careful — it all comes full-circle in the end.

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