God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll (archmage) wrote,
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll

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Gamer Pep-Talk

This is the kind of convo that only gamers can have and understand...and find as funny as I did...discordian, tell me if this doesn't sound familiar, I think we had the same convo with multi_jinx, long ago...

achmanage: Dice hate me. There's an Anti-Dwighty dice guild out there...
archmage: LOL
achmanage: it's a union of dice and they're all out to get me!
archmage: Dice are fickle creatures...pay them the proper homage or face their wrath.
achmanage: I pay them plenty of homage!
achmanage: I've been nice. I've been mean. I've gone from pampering them with foam cases to shooting them into brick walls at mach 4!
achmanage: I just don't know what to do! *cries*
archmage: You have to sacrifice a few to the dice gods from time to time.
achmanage: how do I do that? None of them are virgins.
archmage: You must lose some in the couch from time to time...works for me.
achmanage: hmmmm
achmanage: then a pilgrimage to the living room is in order.
archmage: Quite.
achmanage: But the perils...the distractions....the vile refrigerator god...it seems all odds are against me at every turn!
archmage: It's rough, I know...but one must risk everything to get the greatest good.
archmage: Let the weak fall by the wayside...carry on, my wayward son.
achmanage: but...but master I...the cheetos. They are strong in flavor and scent.
archmage: Yes they are....and you must make them your slaves, that they do not become your master.
achmanage: And the chocolates, near the bathroom? One leads to the other, and their influence is heavy.
archmage: Willpower...it's all willpower. You must WANT to do this thing, otherwise, each distraction is one more weight in your pocket.
achmanage: It's that I'm afraid! I'm afraid of losing dice to some superstition that can only ammount to the same loss as the socks in my washer. They've amounted to what? My feet still stink!
archmage: But your socks are fresh...you must see each thing for what it is.
achmanage: but they're eaten by the dryer and washer gods.
achmanage: Worthless sacrifices.
archmage: not all of them...the greatest good for the greatest number, remember.
achmanage: I will try.
archmage: Be strong...the payoff is worthwhile, and the Game Angels shall smile upon your brow once again.

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