savrille: You violated my fresh vegetable. Prepare to meat your breadmaker.
archmage: You carrot do that to me! It was the onion guy!
archmage: Besides, that's just not rye.
savrille: Once a cook, always a cook. Bake'em Danno.
archmage: Shake me down, will ya?
archmage: Fine, throw me in a celery.
savrille: Lettuce get to the point. I'm gonna radichio until you pop the crackers, see?
archmage: I'm no ratatouille.
savrille: Oh, you'll be flapping that pie hole of yours soon enough.
archmage: Bake me over the coals all you want, flatfoot. I'll be a tough nut to crack.
savrille: You think I'm just a cupcake? We've got a blender, see, and we're not afraid to use it!
archmage: Eh, you can sit there and simmer all you want. Your threats slide right off my non-stick surface.
savrille: Teflon coated, eh? We'll see how you stand up to a high heat. I bet you start peeling left and right.
archmage: I can take whatever you can dish out. Go ahead and TRY to fillet me.
savrille: Alright. You asked for it.
* savrille gets out Louie "The Toaster" Spignolli.
archmage: Ha, the joke's on you. The Italians are on MY side.
archmage: The family always makes sure we're well-fed
savrille: Actually, you're the one with egg on his face. Louie *hated* his parents, and after he waxed the both of them, he came to work for us.
archmage: Yeah, I know about that...but if he touches me, he'll DEFINITELY be in the soup. They'll turn him into chunky salsa.
savrille: Now you've done it. He *hates* tomato-based products.
archmage: Yeah, but he knows the recipe. Unless he wants to sleep with the fishes, he'll go to low heat.
archmage: Now I know where you're comin' from, cop, you got a lot of mouths to feed...maybe you want a juicy tidbit on a REAL morsel.
savrille: You got a lot of dry muffins, get to the moist center or we drop the rolling pin.
archmage: Maybe you want to take a REAL bite out of crime...and maybe, just maybe, you'd like to lock up Garibaldi's top biscuits.
savrille: Garibaldi, eh? Keep simmerin'...
archmage: And maybe I just happen to know his secret blend of herbs and spices, and where he keeps his sugar.
savrille: Tell you what, kumquat, You spill the beans on the secret herbs and spices, and I make your lunch disappear, just like it's never been served, see?
savrille: Or, you can find out what a puree feels like.
archmage: And what guarantee do I have that you aren't waiting around the corner with a frying pan?
savrille: You don't. But isn't better to take a chance on the frying pan that may not be there, or the Toaster thats right in front of you?
archmage: Psssshhh...your stirring the worng pot with me, gumshoe. But I'm willing to deal a meal that'll help us both.
savrille: You wanna drop a few dumplings in the pot, you go ahead. But I'm gonna see what it tastes like before I pay for the batch, see?
archmage: Well, I might be able to give you a little nibble, sure. You remember the shooting of Joey "Meatball" Garibaldi?
savrille: Yea, he lost his motza balls in that one.
archmage: Except that was just the icing. Meatball is still alive. It was staged to keep him outta hot water.
savrille: Meatball wasn't boiled?
savrille: Then where's the sauce?
archmage: On, no you don't. That information comes only after the oven door is open.
archmage: Along with some more tasty tidbits.
savrille: Alright then. What's a slow roll and boil gonna go for?
archmage: I walk, and you forget all about my little spill...and in return, you get info you can REALLY sink your teeth into.
savrille: Alright. You get the run of the garden, *IF* I like the salad. Make with the fry, daddy.
archmage: Meatball is still toasting his marshmallows at Garibaldi's private breakfast nook. Garibaldi don't let him out much because he's afraid too many cooks'll spoil the stew.
archmage: However, Meatball can't resist those little pastries he used to get down at Valentino's, and sifts his way up there every few nights.
savrille: Good, I'll send the boys out to cool their heels till he pops up.
archmage: Now, as for Garibaldi...that info comes your way when I'm back in the carrot patch.
archmage: But you'll be hauling him here in a potato sack within a week.
* savrille pulls out a gun.
savrille: I think I'll be taking that recipe, now.
archmage: 'Fraid not, buster. I'm wired like a Christmas turkey, and that info just got recorded...the shot too. Let me walk, and your rep is clean as my kitchen.
savrille: It was almost an accident in the kitchen. this time, I'll aim a little better.
savrille: *BLAM* *BLAM* *BLAM* *BLAM*
archmage: LMAO...and how long did we manage to keep up this punfest?
savrille: 30 minutes or more..
savrille: I dunno. I was working at the same time..