2. Sales clerks at record stores ask you with concern if you know what that old Christian Death CD sounds like, concerned that at your advanced age you couldn't possibly know about anything other than John Tesh or Yanni. - Been there.
3. You get a Cleopatra Records sticker in the mail, and for lack of anywhere else to put it, you plaster it on the side of your toddler's car seat. - Close enough.
4. You stop jokingly calling the lead singer of the Cure "Fat Bob" because people think you're talking about a used car salesman.
5. The smell of cheap hairspray brings tears of nostalgia to your eyes. - *sigh* Meeeeemories...
6. You remember when alt.gothic was a tiny Usenet group and Take A Bite was new.
7. You realize with a shock that your black stompy boots have been around long enough to have become associated with several different subcultures, and now you suffer from "shoe ambiguity." - Yup.
8. You consider buying life insurance or a cemetery plot out of practicality instead of morbid thoughts. - Haven't yet, but would, I guess.
9. Your old mix tapes of bootlegs and "goth night" college radio programs don't play anymore, you haven't got a tape deck to play them in anyway, and the handwritten liners are so old you can no longer read them, but you won't throw them away, ever. - Hell yes!
10. Younger goths think you're a bit passe for wearing an ankh a la Death from The Sandman. - Damn whippersnappers...
Ah, the 'good ol' days'.