I am not some psychotic fuck or pathetic loser trying to end my worthless existence. Nor am I one of these pussies using "suicide" as a cry for help. I kill myself tonight as king of the world. Things could not be better.
Which is why I leave this world. Things just can't get better. I have reached the pinnacle of life, and not just my life, the zenith of existence itself. Bliss, Nirvana, Utopia. I am at the top of the mountain, not at the bottom like most suicidal fucks. Unfortunately, knowing that, I cannot go forward with the days ahead because they will never again be as good as tonight. I just snorted not 1, but 2 lines of coke off of not 2, but 3 girls' chests. Then we all 4 made sweet beautiful love. The kind of tender sweet beautiful love they sing rap songs about. Then we washed rinsed and repeated it all.
It is truly the best night that could ever be, which is why it must end tonight. Life can now only get worse. Nothing is left for me here in this world. Every seemingly joyous moment from here forward would be compared to tonight and fall miserably short. I will never surpass the level of happiness that I have tonight. So, I'm going out on top, high as hell, feeling good, and my seed spread across the faces of 3 beautiful women. It's nice to be me.
P.S. I cemented/superglued all my orifices shut, so you coroner pricks can't steal my fillings or sex up my corpse.