God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll (archmage) wrote,
God of Thunder and Rock'n'Roll
archmage

Disney Strikes Again

The Cult Of The Mouse has gone and done it again: taken a classic piece of literature, decided to make a film out of it, and opted, somewhere along the line, to just rewrite the damn thing. This time, it's Around The World In 80 Days. Let's see...added a 'femme fatale' passenger on the trip, made Fogg some kind of eccentric genius inventor (rollerblades?!?), and cast Jackie Chan as Passepartout. Three quick strikes. Add in "an international all-star cast", and what do you have? A classic redone as a "family comedy" with a lot of over-acted celebrity cameos, bearing almost no resemblance to the actual book. And, as usual, everyone will fawn all over it, adults will send their kids to see it (and later buy it), and another great piece of literature will be fucked up for generations to come.
"This version of the classic novel focuses on Passepartout (Chan), a Chinese thief who steals a valuable jade Buddha and then seeks refuge in the traveling companionship of an eccentric London inventor and adventurer, Phileas Fogg (Coogan), who has taken on a bet with members of his gentlemens' club that he can make it around the world in a mere 80 days. Along the way, Passepartout uses his amazing martial arts abilities to defend Fogg from the many dangers they face. One major threat to their adventure is a detective that's following them. Why? Just as Fogg and Passeportout left London, a major bank was robbed, with Fogg suspected of using the "around the world" trip as an excuse to escape."
Um...what the bloody fuck? I can't be the only person who's cringing about this description. Not even a good one to do, nowadays. 80 days? If they have two brain cells to rub together, they'll just be surprised that it took so long.

*sigh* And, as usual, I'll look like a grumpy old man for hating it. Ah well, fine.
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